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One + One = Ed/Script
is in bed, sleeping peacefully. Suddenly, flies start to swarm around him. Eddy waves them away and rolls over. The flies return, however, and Eddy awakes a little. He then sees something startling. Eddy: "Ed! What are you doing in my bed?" Ed: "I can't sleep, Eddy. I keep thinking; how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?" Eddy: "Ed?" a long pause "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" boots Ed out of bed. Ed: "Ow! My buttocks hurt." attention is drawn to the lava lamp. "Why does goo float?" Eddy: "HIT THE ROAD!!" crunching is heard. Ed has eaten the lamp. The goo can still be seen through his eyes. "What the? MY LAMP!!!" Ed: Eddy up ''"Eddy, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter?" ---- ''clock on Eddy's stove reads 3:14. Eddy, exhausted, has curled up into a drawer and Ed's barrage of questions is still going strong. Ed: and closing the refrigerator door "Eddy, when you close the fridge door, does the little light stay on?" Eddy: "GO HOME!" Ed: to play with the door "Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light." ---- is morning. Eddy has gotten no sleep, and Ed is still asking questions. Ed: "Eddy, carrots are good for your eyes. Can it dial a phone?" Eddy: "If you're going to strain your peanut brain, think of something more important. Like–how to get your face on a dollar bill!" Ed: "Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?" Eddy: "Uh...Double D up yet?" ---- is working on some complicated piece of machinery. He plucks out a piece. Edd: "Intriguing! Slowly..." it "How embarrassing! Seems to be a 15-amp re''sistor! Who woulda thought? My, I love knowledge!" '''Eddy:' "HEY DOUBLE D!" leaps into Ed's arms. Edd: "Eddy, you know I hate that! Oh, hello, Ed." Eddy: "What're you doing to this toaster? Busted, or what? Where's the toast go, anyway?" Edd: "First of all, Eddy, toast doesn't go in a toaster. Bread does. Second, it's actually an antique radio. I disassembled it, Eddy, in order to understand how it works." Eddy: "You're a riot, Double D." Edd: "Think how if we knew everything, we would be–" Eddy: sarcastic "If we knew everything, we would be so famous." an idea "Wait, yeah! And rich!" Ed: "Like potato salad?" Edd: "Well–" Eddy: "I see jawbreakers! Loads of em! I never thought I'd say this, but, let's learn!" Edd: "That's the spirit! Let's get educated! Shall we begin our journey of knowledge at Ed's house?" Eddy: "We're gonna be eggheads! Rich eggheads!" Ed: "Cluck cluck cluck." ---- heaves open his garage door. Edd: "Egads!" Eddy: "Garages are for cars, Ed." Ed: "Why thank you." garage is filled with an immense amount of junk. Edd: "Where do we begin?" Ed: "Oh I know! Let's take this apart first!" grabs a washing machine and heaves it onto Eddy. Edd: "Uh, Eddy?" Ed: "Look at what I found!" out of the washing machine "One Eddy, and a whole bunch of doohickeys. I took it apart, Double D. Am I smart now?" Edd: notes "Let's not ask for miracles, Ed." Eddy: "You're enjoying this, aren't cha?" Ed: an agitator "Ah, and what's this?" Edd: "Spin it, Ed! And learn." spins it and sticks his tongue out. The agitator wraps his face around it. Ed: "It's a face scruncher, cool!" Eddy: a dresser "Let's see what makes this old dresser tick!" pulls out a bra. "Woo hoo! PG-13!" Ed: "That's my mom's, Eddy." grunts and drops the bra, disgusted. Edd: giggling "Oh dear." Eddy: at Edd's notes "I haven't learned a thing. C'mon, let's find some more stuff." making his exit, jumps on Edd's head. Edd: "Eddy, must you be so rough?" Ed: "Is it my turn to jump on your head?" Edd: "Let's just follow Eddy, Ed." Ed: offscreen "Follow the leader!" Edd: Ed lands on his head "Ouch!" ---- is tending to his chicken coop Rolf: his chicken "Gertrude? Eggs for Rolf?" a sow "Oh ho! Not again!" pulls out the sow, aghast. "How many times must Rolf purge himself? No strange visitors! Ever! Do not burn the candle at both ends, as it leads to the life of a hairdresser." Edd: offscreen "The plywood of this coop has some very unusual characteristics." and Eddy are taking apart the coop. Ed is hugging a chicken. Eddy: unimpressed "Wow. Wood." Rolf: "Ed-boys!" Edd: "We're trying to solve the mysteries of life." Rolf: "This reminds Rolf of a fable from his old country." Eddy: bored "Here we go." Rolf: "The story of the Ugly Boy and the Tree of Heads." Eddy: "Okay, well, it's been swell, Rolfy-boy, but we're out of here." Rolf: the Eds "Life too short not to smell the parsley!? Okay. Once upon a time an ugly boy was thrown out of his village and hit his melon on a tree! The boy looked up and was amazed at the many beautiful heads growing from its branches!" demonstrates with his tree. Ed: "Handsome!" Rolf: a fruit on his head "After many tries–" removes the fruit, and reveals he is headless. Eddy: "What the–" head pops out of his shirt. Rolf: "–he found one that fit, and ran back to the village!" the fruit on Eddy's head "Yes? He became very popular." Ed: "I want a new head! Please, Rolf? New head! Rolf? Head for Ed!" grabs the tree and uproots it, revealing that the tree is two-dimensional. Edd: "What a discovery! It's flat as cardboard!" makes notes. Eddy: "Gimme that!" drags the tree towards himself, but it's too heavy for him and he drops it. "Ow!" Edd: "Heavy in weight! Got it. Thank you, Eddy." climbs out from under the tree and runs up it. He looks out over the fence it is balanced on. Eddy: "You guys gotta see–this..." tree topples over. Edd: happy "I best tend to his medical needs! 'Scuse me." Ed: "My turn to jump on his head!" Rolf: angry at being ignored "Life has many doors, Ed-boys!" ---- is stumbling along. Although he is moving, perspective isn't changing; the things in the distance stay small even when he reaches them. Eddy: dazed "Fall...big...tree...flat..." falls down behind a tiny house. "Huh?" tinkers with the background house's chimney. "Einstein's got nothing on this." Edd: "What a discovery! I'm speechless! I mean, this is an absolute coup! The displacement of perspective! Why we're–" Eddy: "I thought you were speechless." Ed: "Look at me run." falls and slides, ending up under the road. "Home free." Edd: notes "The pavement has adapted fabric-like qualities! Interesting!" Eddy: as he leaps on a background house "He'll never find his way out!" house collapses under his weight "I say we take a break. This learning stuff is making me hungry." passes his hand behind the sun. Eddy: "Did you see that?" does it again. "Weird. Oh well. Can't beat 'em, eat 'em." takes a bite out of the sun, leaving a crescent moon. "Not bad." Jimmy: the suddenly dark lane "Jumping Jehoshaphat! Who turned out the sun?" Ed: over a fence "Hi, Jimmy!" Jimmy: "AAAAAHHH!" falls down, but Edd puts him back on his feet Eddy: him with Edd "Lighten up, shrimp. We're just figuring out how stuff works." spots a loose thread on Jimmy's person. "A thread?" pulls on it and unravels the sweater. The thread leads into Jimmy's body. "What the...? Woohoo!" yanks Jimmy's outline loose. Edd: "Is that Jimmy's outline?" Eddy: "You betcha. Let's sell it back to him." Jimmy: "Fate has dealt a cruel hand." collapses into a liquid and goes down a sewer grate. "Darn it!" Edd: Eddy pulls on the outline "Um, Eddy, you best not aggravate it." Eddy: it into a hairstyle and putting it on his head "Like my new hairdo, Double D?" Edd: gigging "It suits you, Eddy. Ed!" Ed: a hole in the night sky "This is fun! Hello!" finishes with the hole, revealing the Kankers taking a bath. May: "Big Ed, scrub my feet!" sisters giggle, and Ed shoves the hole away. Eddy: onto the sawn-out hole "Did you see anything?" the hole he's on "Huh?" through the hole "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH..." Ed: "Uh, Eddy?" Eddy: back from the top of the screen and through the hole again "...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH..." Ed: up "Eddy?" Eddy: again "...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH..." Ed: up the hole "My turn!" Eddy: "...AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" beside Ed as he puts his head through it; his head appears, upside down, at the top of the screen. "Look at me!" Edd: more notes "Ed, you seem to have stumbled into another dimension! I feel we're getting closer to answering that all-important question!" Eddy: "Is Eddy rich yet?" Ed: "Can Ed go to the bathroom?" Sarah: up out of the hole Ed is holding "ED!" Ed: "Sarah?" Edd: "Sarah?" Sarah: "WAIT TILL I TELL MOM WHAT YOU DID TO JIMMY!" pulls out a jug in which Jimmy rests. Jimmy: "Don't spill me!" Eddy: "What a shame! Gotta go? So soon?" Sarah: "Eddy, you blockhead!" starts running, but steps out of his running feet. He then places Sarah in the moving feet, and she runs away. Edd: ecstatic "We could very well be the next cover story of Intellectual Discoveries magazine!" Eddy: "Good thing you're housebroken." looks up. Edd: "Don't look now, but there's a cow hovering just overhead." cow crows like a rooster. "I feel uncomfortable. Pardon me." exits to the right. Eddy: "Hold the elevator, Double D." follows. Ed stays where he is. Edd and Eddy: "Ed!" Ed: "Am I it?" follows his friends to a place where everything floats where it may and there are no clear paths. Eddy: Edd adds more notes "Double D! We've learned into fortune!" Edd: "Don't let the excitement spoil your grammar, Eddy." Eddy: "Look around us. We've gotta be rich!" house behind him suddenly opens up, and Sarah leans out of it. Sarah: "EVERYTHING'S BROKEN! FIX IT NOW!!!" Eddy: "Shut your mouth, Sarah! Or better yet, get rid of it!" rips off Sarah's lips. "I love taking things apart." mouth bites his ear. He strains to tear it off. "Get her off, Double D!!" Edd: notes "Not a chance!" things start drifting every which way. Eddy: "SARAH!" Edd: "Hello. An original scene transition. Interesting." checkerboard pattern rises up to cover the screen and turn the world to black. ---- Eds' eyes open in a plain black world. Edd: "Did you eat the sun again, Eddy?" Ed: "Can you guess what I'm doing?" Eddy: "Get off my foot, Ed!" Edd: "I think we're moving, Eddy." camera zooms out to reveal the Eds are in Kevin's right eye. Kevin: his bike nowhere "I can hear dorks, but I can't see dorks. Come on out and show yourselves!" rides up, leaving smoke behind him. When the smoke clears, Ed is sitting in a chair, floating. Ed: on a cloud "Cotton gravy!" Edd: something like an Escher print "Careful, Ed. You don't know where that's been!" Ed: "Oh, it's right here, Double D." front of Edd's eyes, Jonny's disembodied head appears. Jonny: "Tally-ho! Plank and I are gonna go rough it in the woods!" body tucks Jonny's head under its arm, revealing that it has Plank for a head and is lugging behind it a backpack overstuffed with various unnecessary items. Edd: hushed "This is not good." Nazz: the backpack, with the body of a purple reptile "Care to join us, Double D?" Edd: "Guy...um...igh–" Eddy: down "Was that Nazz?" perspective changes so that it looks like Edd and Eddy are standing sideways. Edd: "You realize we're floating, don't you?" fall, and chicken legs pop up from nowhere. Suddenly, Rolf parts the background. Rolf: "Hello, Ed-boys." reveals he has three heads. Rolf's Head #1 (center): "Many doors, yes?" Rolf's Head #2 (left): "Too much for..." Rolf's Head #3 (right): "...couch potato Ed-boys like yourselves." Eddy: a living room with Edd "A three-headed Rolf. Yawn." Ed: up his piece of cloud like a balloon "Fly, butterfly, fly." floats upward, carrying Ed with it. Eddy: "Ed, what're you doing?" Rolf's Heads: tandem "The story is not yet over!" Edd: Ed's leg "Oh, Ed, please!" Eddy: Edd's legs "I gotcha!" cloud lifts them away, and Rolf's heads growl. Eddy: "How's he put on a hat? Are we rich yet, Double D?" Edd: to read his notes "It's all become very complicated, Eddy." Eddy: "What're ya givin' me?" climbing to the top of Edd "All we have to do is read your notes." the notebook "And we'll be up to our necks in jawbreakers!" Ed: "I love chickens, Eddy!" cloud floats into the tip of a pencil, popping it. The Eds fall to Earth. Edd drops his notes, and they scatter all over the place. Eddy: "Oof!" Edd: "Augh!" Ed: "Sandwich!" Edd: the scattered notes "My notes!" ---- the now normal lane, the kids watch as the Eds scramble to pick up all Edd's notes. Kevin: "What are you doing?" The Eds: "Uh...nothing." Kevin: "Right. Except for being–" Sarah: "Dorks?" Kevin: impressed "Yeah." Jimmy: in a wagon, bandaged "Can't we all just get along?" Ed: "Jimmy! You got your line back!" examines Jimmy. "Is it on wrong?" Sarah: "ED! LEAVE JIMMY ALONE!" Ed: "Baby sister!" pulls at her lips. "Take your mouth off again." Rolf: "Big Ed has lost his marbles?" Ed: "It's stuck!" Eddy: "Go, Burrhead, go!" heaves Ed off and sends him sliding towards his friends. Ed: "Sarah's mad."'' expresses anger.'' Eddy: "RUN FOR IT!" Edd: "Oh dear!" takes off. He almost falls into a manhole, but manages to stop in time. Unfortunately, Edd runs into Eddy's back, pushing them both in. Ed: "It's okay, guys. I'll just pick up the hole." grabs the manhole and pulls a gigantic pipe out. Edd: "This is unsanitary!" Ed: "Alley-oop!" Sarah: "Wait till I get my hands on you!" Ed: "Big hole." Sarah: "Ed!" Eddy: "Run for it!" runs away carrying the pipe, Sarah chasing him all the way down the lane. Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Scripts